* * *
Beads of sweat formed on the boy’s forehead as he waited in the humungous living room of the house. The walls were painted white and red, decorated with black cabinets, flat screen TVs, and flowers of different kinds.
He looked around and saw a pile of scripts lying on the table in the part of the room that looked like the study corner. There were also pictures in frames, hung neatly on the wall in random places, but still looking as organized as ever.
He continued walking around and touched the pictures as a smile formed on his lips.
“Nuna…”
There were pictures of her smiling, with her dogs, in parties, in beaches, in different places and settings. What brought them together was the fact that she was not alone. She was with… Tei…
Few moments passed and he heard a door close. He looked up and saw Chae Yeon walking down the stairs near the room, fiddling with something in her hands, oblivious of the fact that she was about to talk with him.
Quietly, he ran to the foot of the stairs to meet with her. It was a long descend, so he was able to take his time. He was in the living room and the flight of stairs Chae Yeon was going down on was just two feet away. Finally, they arrived at a halt and as she came face to face with him, she suddenly spoke.
“S-seung… Gi?”
He smiled cheerfully at her, but before he could speak, she butted in. “What are you doing here?”
“Annyeong haseyo… Uhm… I just wanted to… Give this back to you.”
Confused, she looked at Seung Gi who was trying to get something from his pockets.
“Here,” he handed the handkerchief to her. “Remember the time I messed up and injured myself? Well… I forgot to return this to you so…”
“You went to my house just to do that?? How did you know where I live?”
“Uhm…” looking around nervously, “Jong Kook hyung helped me…”
She snorted and blew to the air, hearing his name, “Always the same Jong Kook.”
“Eung,” he spoke, “I’m sorry if I barged in like this, Nuna. I thought that it was just weird if I don’t return it. I mean… It’s yours and uh --what are you doing?”
He was surprised when in the middle of his ‘speech’, Chae Yeon took his hand in hers and examined the cuts he had on them. They looked like they had healed, but the cuts were still obviously there. Her eyes disappeared as she started giggling.
“You’re so silly, you know that?”
Seung Gi suddenly smiled and the dimples on his cheeks reached an all time deep as he felt his nuna’s hands pinching the upper part of his cheeks. The dimples on his face appeared deeply and Chae Yeon felt his cheeks flush pink and her heart stop for a moment seeing him smile the way he smiled.
“How are these cuts? Do they still hurt?” She asked.
“Uh…”
“Keep the handkerchief. In case you decide to become stupid again.”
He could do nothing but laugh at her playful insult.
Suddenly, someone screamed from upstairs, “CHAE YEON-AHHHHHH!!!”
Chae Yeon rolled her eyes realizing who it was.
Seung Gi politely hung his head low as he realized who it was too. “Oh… Sorry… I didn’t know you had company nuna.”
Chae Yeon only watched him as he awkwardly started on saying goodbye. She nodded her head as he spoke.
“So… Thank you for taking care of me. I’m sorry if I sort of wasted your time.”
“Psh, don’t say that. You didn’t waste anybody’s time. But wait. Come here, go up with me. I want to show you something.”She reached for his arm and started running towards her room.
“CHAE YEON-AH!!!! I’LL EAT YOUR BREAKFAST IF YOU WON’T COME UP HERE IN TEN SECO--oh. Hey.”
Tei looked at the new comer, smiled, and said hello. Seung Gi, realizing that Tei was his senior, bowed. “Annyeong Haseyo, Tei-sshi. I’m sorry if I came. I just came to… uh… return uh… something to Chae Yeon… Nuna.”
Tei smiled handsomely before speaking, “All good. Come here. Have you eaten breakfast yet?”
“Yes… I have.”
“Hmm..”
An awkward silence filled the air as not one of the three spoke. But it didn’t last long because, “AH!” Chae Yeon pointed her finger in exclamation. “Hey, Seung Gi. Here’s the thing I wanted to give you. Wait…”
She rummaged through her pink drawers, obviously looking for something. She threw things in the air, sometimes hitting Tei at the head, sometimes direct to the face. He barely complained since the things that were thrown at him, intentionally or not, where soft and did no harm. Except for that pink notebook… That sort of hurt.
“Aha! There it is.”
Seung Gi and Tei stood up, curious as to what she found in the pink drawer. Chae Yeon stood up and brought the object above her head to show the two men.
“What…. Is that?” Tei asked, poking it animatedly.
“I don’t know what you call it, but it’s like a stress relief kind of thingy.”
The object in Chae Yeon’s hands was like something taken from an anime. It was like a teddy bear, only it was sort of squish and felt like jelly. It worked in a way to relieve stress. When one was angry, all he or she had to do was squeeze the object repeatedly until the stress went away.
“It always works. Whenever I want to hit Tei smack on the head, I go get this, squeeze it, to try to calm myself, like this…” She demonstrated by squeezing the arms of the bear repeatedly.
“Ya! You wanna smack me on the head??!”
“Sometimes…” Chae Yeon retorted.
Pouting, Tei sniffed, “Hmph… Some girlfriend you are!”
Seung Gi had a blank stare as he whispered… “Nuna… It’s pink.”
“And your point is? Look. I want to give it to you so instead of destroying things in your hands and hurting yourself, do something less painful and bloody. Plus the bear’s cute. Take it.”
“Thanks.” He took it and gently squeezed the arms of the bear. It felt good.
“Whenever you’re pissed off… Take your anger out on the bear. It won’t feel a thing.”
Seung Gi was glad. It was a good thing that the bear won’t feel a thing because if it did… That won’t be too much fun.
“Besides… I still don’t get the fact why you guys like lashing out on inanimate objects. It’s just stupid.”
Realizing that she had unconsciously insulted Seung Gi, Chae Yeon quickly tried to cover it up. “NOT.. That I’m saying you’re stupid or anything. I’m.. just saying…”
Seung Gi giggled animatedly at her as she tried to save herself from the embarrassment. “It’s okay, Nuna. Anyway, I have to get going. Thank you for this. It means a lot to me.” Seung Gi said, locking eyes with her.
“You’re welcome. Now let’s g--"
“Oh, nuna. It’s okay. Don’t walk me out.” Seung Gi politely told her as he noticed her standing up from the bed to where she was sitting beside Tei. “Thank you for this again. Nuna, hyung. I’ll be off.” He waved goodbye and bowed his head politely.
“You sure?”
“Yes.”
“Hmm.”
He stood rooted to his spot before he heard Tei speak. “Goodbye, Seung Gi.”
He had been standing in his position beside the door for 3 minutes already, so it was a good thing that Tei had reminded him that he was supposed to be already going out.
“Ah. Yes. Sorry. Goodbye.”
He stepped out of the door and let out a breath, before squeezing his new found stress reliever.
For being stupid and hurting my hands *squeeze*
For being stupid and returning the handkerchief to nuna while Tei was there *squeeze*
For… Losing nuna to Tei *squeeze*
For losing Ayumi… *squeeze*
His grip on the little bear was tight, and he only loosened it when he heard one eye of the bear fall off.
* * * *
“Babe, you okay?”
Chae Yeon had been staring for a long time already. It was another day for a date for the two lovebirds so they decided to go to a nearby café to eat lunch. They were sitting next to each other, in a more private part of the room so they won’t attract anybody since they were both very big stars. And very big stars who were dating each other attracts a lot of attention. Even if she was wearing big sunglasses and a hat to hopefully shade her from the people, Tei had noticed that she was a bit languid. So he scooted nearer to Chae Yeon and threw his arms around her shoulders. He felt her stiffen for a bit, but felt her relax moments later.
“Yeah… I am. It’s just I’m worried about Seung Gi-sshi.”
“Oh? Why is that?”
“It’s just that he’s been so sad lately.”
“Really?” Tei asked in an amused and bewildered tone. “He seems fine to me. I mean, I always see him laughing at the X-Man set so to hear that he’s a depressed little fellow is hard to believe, Chae Yeon-ah.”
“No. He’s been so sad. He told me about this girl that he loved that died and all. And like--"
“Wooah, hold up. So he has that kind of tragic love story kind of thing?”
Chae Yeon nodded slowly and Tei sighed. “Poor kid…”
“I know, right? I feel so bad for him. It’s only been 5 days since I knew him but whenever we talk to each other, it feels like I’ve known him forever, you know? Like I know how he feels.”
“Babe… Aren’t you supposed to feel that I’ve-known-you-forever feeling with me? I mean, I am your boyfriend, aren’t I?” Tei whined, a fake-hurt expression on his face.
“Tei, this is serious. I want to help him. He needs to meet someone new to get his mind off of Ayumi.”
“Ayumi?”
Tei’s face turned to white as he heard her name. Ayumi?
“Yeah, Ayumi. Oh, right. I forgot. That’s the girl that Seung Gi liked. She was the one w--hey you alright? You seem kind of flushed.”
“I’m f-fine. So tell me, how’d the girl die?”
“A car accident.”
His eyes bulged out of their sockets as he heard her speak.
“She was going to this late recording thing and apparently, some drunk driver of a truck or I don’t know just rammed into her car and I don’t know. I couldn’t make out what he was saying because he was crying the whole time he told me the story.”
“Really…” Was the only thing that Tei could say.
“Why do I have the feeling that you’re hiding something from me, Tei?” Chae Yeon asked annoyed. She has noticed the change in Tei’s face when she said Ayumi’s name. “Was it something I said?”
Suddenly, Tei reached out for her face and instantly kissed her. Passionately? That couldn’t explain how it felt. It was like he was angry, and he lashed out all his anger on that one kiss that he gave Chae Yeon. An angry kiss? Can you call it like that? Well, it felt like that. The way he met his mouth with hers. The closeness they shared, they mashed their faces onto each other’s, and continued even if they were both out of breath. He was a great kisser, no doubt. But something about that kiss made Chae Yeon want to pull back.
After a while, Tei stopped, holding onto Chae Yeon’s face. Her eyes were still closed, her mouth hung open, after that tantalizing kiss with Tei.
“Uh… uh-what was that for?” Chae Yeon asked.
“Chae Yeon.”
“Yeah?” She asked, licking the sides of her mouth to somehow try to make her mouth feel again. Her lips felt numb.
“Stop licking your lips.”
She was not asking for another kiss, since that last one was enough to make her happy. But somehow, a next kiss made its way to her mouth and all she could do was happily accept it. She kissed back. But it was still there. That same feeling of anger in that kiss. She could feel it. She knew Tei all her life and she knew that something was bothering him.
She pulled back and leaned her forehead on his. She whispered under her breathe, “What’s wrong?”
She felt him stiffen. He was nervous, she could sense it. “What’s wrong Tei?” She asked again, bringing her hands to his face to make him face her.
“N-nothing. I… I just love you… So much.”
“Then what’s wrong?” Chae Yeon asked.
It took a while before Tei spoke again. “So much that I did something… bad.”
Flashback
“Oppa!”
Tei looked back and it was Ayumi. He walked faster.
“I want you to meet someone!” Ayumi shouted from afar. She ran faster, trying to catch up with Tei.
Tei tried to act that he didn’t see her, but it was obvious that he did. So he stopped, turned around, and waited for her to come.
“I want you to meet someone.” She was panting heavily as she explained. “It’s a boy.”
“So what else is new?” The cold tone in his voice made Ayumi stop for a bit, but she was used to it already.
“Aww c’mon oppa. Don’t tell me that after all this time, you still care about who I date? His name is Seung G-”
“Stop calling me oppa.”
“Why not? I have the right. I mean, we were sort of dating already back then so--"
“Don’t. Start.”
“I’m not. I just want to introduce you to him. Make you see that I’ve moved on from you.” She said it bluntly as if it was the most normal thing to say to an ex-boyfriend. She pouted and held on to his arm, but Tei threw it off and looked at her squarely in the eye.
“Look. I left you because you’re still young, naïve, and stupid. You don’t know anything about life except to take pictures, eat strawberry cake, and paint your nails. You talk behind people’s backs. You’re spoiled, bratty, and whiny. What good does it do to me if I stayed with you? We’re over.”
“But you still loved me, oppa.”
“I didn’t.”
“Don’t say that.” Ayumi stomped on her feet childishly. “You loved me!”
“Ayumi, we’re over. Stop clinging onto me. I won’t come back to you.”
“I’m not asking you to come back to me!”
Tei shrugged and walked away slowly.
“You left me because you found Chae Yeon… Is she better than me oppa?”
“Don’t be so full of yourself, Ayumi. Of course she is. She’s better than anybody I’ve ever met.”
Ayumi’s tears started flowing continuously now; not stopping as she listened to every word that Tei threw at her.
“She’s better than you, better than everybody else and I’m sure that she’s always going to be that way. She is the most beautiful person I’ve ever met inside and out. How she makes me feel can’t even come close to how you made me feel. You made me sick.”
She held her hand to her mouth and listened. Listened closely.. Listened too closely. She watched him turn back. But before he could walk away, she started talking to reply to his hurtful remarks.
“Remember when you left me oppa?” She sniffed. “Remember two years ago? I was so in love with you. You made me feel so happy. I knew I was a spoiled brat. I knew I had a bad personality. But then you left me. I couldn’t live without you. So I realized how much of a bad person I am… I changed oppa. I really did!”
Tei shook his head and snorted. Turning back, he asked. “How did I even love you? You were so young...”
“What?”
“You were young… You knew nothing. What did I even see in you?”
“WHY ARE YOU SAYING THOSE THINGS?!!” She screamed. “You’re making it look like loving me is a bad thing. WHAT’S WRONG WITH YOU?! I’m still a person, so even if I know I have a bad attitude, I still have a heart! I still have feelings!” Her voice was loud, angry, and bitter. “I’m not asking you to come back to me! I’ve moved on from you! You’re so full of yourself! I found another boy, and he loves me just as much as I love him. He takes care of me!! He accepted me for who I am! After you broke up with me two years ago, I met him a month later and I… I was so happy! HOW DARE YOU SAY THOSE THINGS TO HURT ME??!!” Her face was wet with tears as she spoke.
“I know that you don’t love me anymore. But how can you say those things? I’m a better person now, Tei. I’ve grown to know more about how it is to actually be a good person… and care for others rather than myself.” She bawled into her hands and whined like a baby, but spoke like a mature woman. “I’ve grown Tei oppa… I’m a better person now. Especially because of him… Especially because of Seun-- Wait. Why am I even telling his name to you? YOU DON’T EVEN CARE!!”
And with that, Ayumi left. Those were the last words that Tei heard from her.
The last news that he heard of her was about her car accident.
She told the boy that she loved, Seung Gi, that she was going to a late night recording that night… But no, she wasn’t.
She was going out for a drink. Drinking her sorrows away. Drinking away the hurt that Tei made her feel again. After all these years, he still had that same effect on her.
Why were things happening the way they did? She loved a new man now. His name is Seung Gi. But why does Tei affect her so much?
The taste of the beer made her insides turn and closed her eyes as she felt the beer go down her throat.
She drank her last bottle, tipsy, drunk, and broken.
She drove out. 150. 160. 170. And there it was… The truck.
The taste of beer was still in her mouth as she felt blood on her head. She giggled in the awkward position she was in. She could still feel her arms, but other parts of her body felt like nothing already.
“Tei never loved me…” She breathed, before closing her eyes, succumbing to the pain her body made her feel. “He said it. He never loved me…” But before she could breathe her last, she heard someone scream her name.
“AYUMI!!”
She looked out, and it was Tei. He was outside, near the car wreck, being held back by security.
“LET ME GO! AYUMI! AYUMI!”
“Sorry sir. But you can’t go past here.”
She saw him crying outside, and she felt a smile tug on her lips.
“Never mind…”
“He did.” She whispered before finally, letting go.
They both whispered.
“Sa… Saranghae.”
End of Flashback
“Ma’am, Sir, I have to ask you to stop… Uhm… Kissing. I’m sorry but--oh my gosh??! CHAE YEON?? TEI???!!”
A waitress had approached them to ask them to stop kissing since there were already a lot of customers coming in. But as soon as the waitress had realized who she was talking to, she bowed politely and held out her pen and a piece of tissue. “I am SUCH a big fan of yours! I saw that X-Man show where you kissed her! That was so sweet. I wish my boyfriend was like that, only I don’t have a boyfriend and oh my gosh thank you I’m so sorry for interrupting you guys I’ll just go away now and oh my gosh thank you,” The waitress continued, walking away and looking gleefully at the signatures of the two stars.
The whole time the waitress was talking, they were both looking down awkwardly. Not because the waitress had caught sight of their public display of too much affection, but because of the fact that Tei had been hiding something. And Chae Yeon noticed.
“Will you tell me what’s wrong with you?” Chae Yeon asked, holding on to his hands.
Tei only sighed and looked at her.
“Why won’t you tell me?”
Tei shook his head in response and bit his bottom lip.
“Will it hurt if you tell me?” She asked, biting her bottom lip as well. “What’s wrong Tei? Is it about Ayumi?”
“We dated.”
Chae Yeon’s expression grew from concern to shock. “W-what?”
“I don’t want to hide anything from you Chae Yeon. I want you to trust me, especially now that I’m going to the army. Even if we’re far away, I want you to trust me.”
Chae Yeon could only joke with him. “Yah.. I know… I don’t want you to be cheating on me with soldiers… O-okay?”
Tei ignored her joke and started explaining in a hush tone so nobody would hear what he had to say. “We dated. Ayumi and I dated. For some time. But then… She was too young. She was too naïve for her own good. I broke up with her. She got drunk. That’s why she was in that accident.”
“But Seung Gi told me that she was going to a late night recording?”
“That’s what she told Seung Gi. What she told everybody. That’s why she didn’t want Seung Gi to bring her to the studio, cos she was going to a club… A club where she knew I always went to. That night, I was there. I saw her come in, but as soon as she did, I went out. I didn’t want to deal with her.”
“…”
“She saw me go out, but didn’t follow me out. She just… drank. The bartender told me that drank a tad too much. A few hours later, I felt bad for leaving her because I knew that she didn’t have a good tolerance for alcohol. So I came back to the bar and asked the bartender where she was. He told me that she already went out. After driving out, I spotted her car and I--Ch-Chae Yeon ah. Sit down. Please don’t go, Chae Yeon. Hear me out.” He held onto Chae Yeon’s hand as he noticed that she was standing up.
“You told me that I was the first girl that you loved… How could you lie to me like that?” Chae Yeon asked, half-standing up.
“That I truly loved, Chae Yeon-ah. Listen to me… I followed her car, and I wanted to stop her because she was driving so fast. Swerving… I knew she was drunk. Then… The truck. It happened so fast that I… I don’t know. That’s why I arrived in the scene so fast.”
“How could you lie to me that I was the first girl you loved, Tei?” Chae Yeon asked again. This time, her voice seemed softer, obviously hurt.
“TRULY loved, Chae Yeon. There’s a difference. It’s not a lie. It’s the truth. I loved Ayumi, but realized that it wasn’t true love after I met you. You were the only one who made me feel this way, Yeonnie. Please believe me.” He hugged her tightly and cooed into her ears. “Babe…”
Chae Yeon sighed. She was not one to dwell on the past.
Her father left her and her mother when she was young, she didn’t care anymore.
Her driver drove off with her Mercedes, she just bought a new one.
Seul Gi pulled on her braids when they were still kids, they were still best friends.
She let go of the past easily, sometimes too easily.
So here was Tei. He had an affair with Ayumi, a person Seung Gi loved deeply, she shouldn’t care anymore.
She shouldn’t care anymore, but why does she see herself running away from the café? Her feet felt tired because she ran so fast while she heard Tei screaming her name. “Yeonnie! WAIT!”
She didn’t look back. Somehow, it hurt. She was always been so true and honest to Tei so… what right does it give him to lie to her?
She crossed the road, running as fast as she can without looking to both sides.
“WATCH OUT! CHAE YEON!”
* * * *
“Seung Gi-sshi. Welcome!”
Seung Gi looked up and saw Da Hae cheering at me. “Hi!” I smiled back. “I came back for more coffee.”
“Obviously. What’ll you have?”
“Strawberry frap, please. Extra whipped cream.”
Da Hae snorted as she punched in Seung Gi’s order. He always wanted some extra for his drinks. Extra cream. Extra sugar. Extra this. Extra that.
“Anything else?”
“Yeah… What’s that bread thing that we ate that last time we talked?”
“Uhhh…” She tried to remember what it was.” Oh! Okay, I remember that.” She punched in the order. “What else?”
“That’s all.” Seung Gi smiled handsomely, causing Da Hae’s heart to flutter.
“That’ll be $11.25.”
Seung Gi handed her the bills and walked to the usual table that he sat in. After the day he had with Da Hae, he was now always coming back to the coffee shop. Sometimes, even helping out with making the drinks.
The ahjumma, Da Hae’s aunt, noticed and would always ask if they were dating. Da Hae would always feel her cheeks flush red at the question, and just shake her head to her aunt violently.
“Of course not! Don’t think about it too much, auntie! Aish.” Dejectedly, the aunt would always shake her head too and sigh.
“That’s what they all say. Tell me when he goes back, and tell me when you two get together, okay?”
On that particular day, Seung Gi arrived before lunch so there wasn’t too much customers. He spotted the ahjumma wiping the table so he bowed to her politely and asked that he wipe the table instead. The ahjumma declined and instead called for Da Hae.
“Da Hae! Dear! Seung Gi’s is here already! Hurry and go talk to him again!!”
Seung Gi laughed as the ahjumma winked at her. He noticed Da Hae whispering to her with a distorted face before walking up to his table and giving him his order.
“Here you go.” She bowed before walking away.
“Wait! Aren’t you gonna sit with me? C’mon. Don’t tell me that after all this time, you’re not used to sitting with me?”
She turned around and like before, had the same shocked expression on her face.
“Don’t worry. It’s just a friend thing…”
She sighed to herself. I know… Just a friend thing. “Sure.” She smiled.
They talked and talked. They did for days. And somehow during those long and meaningful conversations that they had, both of them had fallen in love.
